It’s almost time for the new TV season to start, and I’ve been seeing tons of ads for the return of Heroes (September 22 on NBC!). I’ve been a faithful watcher of Heroes since the start, and I’m sure I’ll tune in for the season premiere.

But I do find I can’t quite muster up the same enthusiasm for the show since I read that Milo Ventimiglia, who plays Peter, is dating Hayden Panettiere, who plays Claire.

He’s 31, she just turned 19 this week. They announced their relationship last year at her 18th birthday party. I’m going to assume that they did not just hook up that very evening, meaning, they’ve been a couple since she was 17.

SEVENTEEN.

I used to have a real hang up about the older man/younger woman pairing that Hollywood is so fond of, both in real life and in the movies. I used to rant and rave about it all the time when I wrote for Sidekick. Over time, though, I’ve become more complacent about it. Maybe Hollywood is getting better, too — seems like there’s more parts for women past 30 these days, especially on TV.

But now I’m all up in arms again. I’m sure Hayden is all mature for her age and whatever. But if any one of my kids, while in their senior year of HIGH SCHOOL, brings home a partner who is almost 30, then I will have ISSUES. There’s such a huge, huge difference between someone who is 30 and someone who is 18. You absolutely cannot convince me that that is a relationship of equals, of people with similar goals and similar outlooks on life.

My youngest sister, LittleSis, is almost exactly the same age as Milo. I’m trying to imagine her coming over to dinner with a new boyfriend, who is EIGHTEEN. IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I have to think that Sir Monkeypants and I would do a fair bit of eye rolling. Then we’d struggle all evening to make conversation with the 18-year-old on an adult level. Probably while he was texting his friends, asking us for pocket money, and trying to scam some booze from our liquor cabinet.

Actually, I imagine that the hypothetical 18-year-old boyfriend would get along better with Captain Jelly Belly. Hell, they’d be CLOSER IN AGE than the boyfriend and Sir Monkeypants. Maybe they could play some Mario Kart together. Then LittleSis could take her imaginary child-boyfriend out to Zellers for a new school wardrobe.

SERIOUSLY.

I suppose Milo and Hayden are only 11 years apart. If they were, say, 40 and 51 it wouldn’t seem like a big deal at all, I don’t think. But 30 to 18 is just icky.

I hope the new season of Heroes doesn’t give them a lot of scenes together. Scenes in which they will play UNCLE and NIECE. Sheesh!