Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about the Captain’s various issues with food in this blog.

(Both of mine are waving frantically in the air.)

Sigh.

So Captain Jelly Belly has passed his celiac test, meaning, he is not intolerant to gluten. This is good news, and I’m trying to think of it that way. He passed all the other tests too (save the cystic fibrosis test, which won’t be until September, but I’m quite confident that that one will be negative anyway). He’s a little low on iron. That’s it.

We should be happy, but there’s still the fact that the Captain either throws up or has a “day of diarrhea” at least three or four times a week. He’s sick so often that all of us take it as a matter of course. He’s stopped bothering to tell us when he has a messy poop — usually I only find out about it if he forgets to flush. Then he’s all, “Oh yeah, and I had a few more messy poops earlier.” A kid who is five years old should not expect to have diarrhea. A kid who is five years old should not be so cavalier about vomit that he can barely interrupt his playing to turn to the side to barf. Or to eat a little dinner, vomit, and then return to the table to eat more. It’s not right.

It’s been at least three and a half years since we figured out that the Captain’s almost-daily barfing was not normal, and that we needed to figure out what was going on. Three and a half years, and still we only have partial answers and theories to go on.

Although I love all our doctors and I think they are smart, caring people, I’m really losing faith in the medical profession.

The Captain is going for more allergy testing in August and once again, we hope to find some magic bullet, some heretofore unfound massive allergy that will explain everything. An answer that will resolve all his problems with a simple diet elimination.

But it probably won’t happen.

I guess if we don’t find any new allergies, the next step is to look at some alternative medicines and therapies. I must say, that kind of thing is very, very, NOT ME. I think of people who are marketing their “magic solutions” to desperate people as charlatans, people who take advantage of sick people to make money while sucking even more of their hope away. But I’m not sure what else to do at this point.

I guess we’ll just enter a holding pattern until the August test. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.