It’s almost 5 p.m. on Mother’s Day. Here’s what I’ve eaten so far.

• coffee with cream and sugar
• jam sweetheart cookies for breakfast
• a grilled cheese sandwich made with full-fat cheese
• half a bag of barbecue rice chips
• a glass of chocolate milk
• half a giant bag of cotton candy (for the love of GOD, will someone please pry the cotton candy from my hands before I go into a diabetic coma?)
• half a banana
• a Nutrigrain bar (sort of like a soft-shell PopTart)

It’s a very good thing I took the day off DietPower. I have a feeling my comments for the day might include, “Your daily sugar is trending far above target.”