The older two kids woke up with hacking coughs this morning, and the patio guys are working the backyard, so after lunch today I let them watch Backyardigans instead of going outside to play. It wasn’t quite time for the Wee One’s nap, and I don’t like her to play in the room where the TV is, so I took her in the front room with a few books for some rare quiet one-on-one time.

I had brought a picture book about colours that was one of the Captain’s favourites as a baby, and I was showing her the various pictures in it when I realised that she totally has no ability to pay attention. I know it’s unusual for a baby to be able to focus on a task for longer than a minute or so, but my other two loved this book because it has pictures of babies in it, and they were excited and would point to the babies and gaze at the babies and love the babies, even at this young age. Wee One is interested in the babies too, but she has no powers of concentration; she’s constantly looking around to see what that noise was, what that toy is, what’s going on outside the window.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since our house now is a crazy jumble of activity. Even while I was having my “one-on-one” time with the Wee One, Gal Smiley was coming in every minute or so to have me guess what she had hiding behind her back, and the Captain came in every few minutes to ask me which one of the Backyardigans I would like to pretend to be. While I was showing the Wee One the book, Gal Smiley wanted to turn the pages too quickly, and the Captain danced in to ask if he could play video games after the TV show was done. It’s no wonder she can’t concentrate on anything — I can’t concentrate on her, either.

When we had the Wee One, lots of random people we’d meet would say stuff like, “Oh, the poor third one, never gets any attention.” And I’d smile and nod, but inside I was always thinking, “Not this one, she gets plenty of attention.” Taking care of a baby takes a lot of time, and if you asked the Captain and the Gal, I’m sure they would say that Mommy is always changing the baby’s diaper, or putting her down for a nap, or nursing her. She gets carried around a lot and she gets fed at all mealtimes. Besides me, she also has the older two buzzing around her all day, showing her things or singing her songs or just demonstrating really cool skills like walking. The Wee One certainly does not lack for entertainments or care; it’s not like she is sitting alone in a corner all day while I go about my business.

But today’s playtime showed me that what she is really missing out on is quiet, focused playtime with me alone. I remember when the Captain was this age — I had so much time to devote to just playing with him. I’d read to him and I’d make up little puppet shows with his stuffed animals. At mealtimes I’d put on music and sing to him, and when he was done eating I’d pick him up and we’d dance. I’d use his naptimes to do stuff like cleaning and cooking, so when he was awake, I was all his, all the time.

The Wee One, in contrast, only ever gets half my attention. At mealtimes I feed her, but I’m up every 30 seconds to get someone else more juice, or to fetch the margarine, or to wipe up a spill. While changing her diaper I’m yelling at the Captain to get dressed, or telling Gal Smiley to go and put her shoes on for school. Even when I’m sitting on the floor with her, playing with her, the other two are usually hanging around, dominating the play and the conversation. So even though the Wee One gets attention, and is involved in our family, she doesn’t seem to be getting a chance to focus on just one thing at one time; and I don’t seem to be getting the chance to focus on just her at one time.

I know that she feels happy and loved here, and I’m sure she’s going to grow up just fine. I guess I feel kind of sad about not giving the Wee One the same kind of attention that the Captain got, but each of my kids is different, our family situation is different, and so, they’ll each get a different experience in life.

Still. I think I’ll try to work a little more Wee One time into the schedule.