A few weeks ago I saw a one-line notice in an issue of Today’s Parent that they were looking for families to be toy testers. Every so often they do an article on the best new toys, and they need kids of all ages to test the stuff out and provide comments for the articles. I thought to myself, “Hey, I don’t have enough to do around here, let’s apply!” We’d play with some new stuff, I’d get to do some writing, the stuff would then leave my house (it must be returned after the two month test period) — all good!

And we have been chosen.

A big packet arrived in the mail today with a bunch of forms to fill out. If we fill out the forms and return them, then we’re in. So now the question is…do we really want in?

I thought it would be a fun thing to do, but Sir Monkeypants has pointed out a serious flaw in my plan — the toys must be returned. It’s a good thing for me — heaven knows we do not need more stuff around here, and our play room is constantly overflowing into all the other rooms in the house as it is. But from the kids’ point of view…not good, not good at all. If it’s something they don’t care for, I’m sure I can sneak it out. But if it’s a Webkinz, and they’ve built it a whole online universe with a home and little outfits and favourite foods, and they sleep with it at night and make it watch them pee? And then we tell them that their little friend Joe has to go back to the store?

Not good, my friends. Not good.

One of the forms we have to fill out requires us to indicate what kinds of toys our kids like, and the more I check stuff off — Thomas, Hot Wheels race tracks, stuffed animals, baby dolls, remote control cars — the more I see the potential for major attachment issues. I thought that if we found something the kids really liked, then hey, we’d add that to their Christmas wish list. But I forgot that when you are five years old, waiting six months until Christmas can feel like FOREVER. And when you’re the parent of a kid who is going to whine every morning about the toy that was so graphically torn from their hands, six months can sure as hell feel like FOREVER for you, too.

So needless to say, I’m conflicted on the issue.

I think my plan now is to talk to them about the whole idea and see if I can get a feel for how much they understand about what is going to happen. Maybe I’ll just ask for toys for the Wee One, because she’s really easy to fool, and I’m sure I could slip a few things into and then out of the toy rotation without too much complaint.

I have a week to send in the forms, if I want to. I guess I have some serious thinking to do.