My Fun With Words Dictionary, A-K

For Christmas this year, I ordered a copy of My Fun With Words Dictionary, Volume A-K, from eBay for SirMonkeypants. It arrived in pristine condition, and now our set is complete. I must admit I could hardly wait for him to open it on Christmas morning. Captain Jelly Belly was also super excited and the book immediately moved into his room, where it has been bedtime reading for the past month. I’ve only just now been able to nab it, while he’s at school, for a sampling.

I don’t find this first volume quite as hilarious as volume L-Z. It gets weirder as it goes on, but the opening letters in particular are pretty straightforward. I think maybe Mr. Ertel was working on this project a little too long, and as he got to the closing letters he got a little punchy, and just let it rip with his love of pork chops and hatred of roosters.

Here’s a small sample of the first volume, anyway.

Jolly – If you laugh a lot and are happy most of the time, people will say you are jolly. Turtles seldom seem to be jolly. Nobody can figure out why. People who are jolly have more friends than turtles do.

Job – “I can’t talk to you now. I have a job to do,” you say. You have to wash that pig until he is clean. A job is something you have to do. Do a good job of washing that pig.

Jar – A jar is a round glass thing with a fairly big top and a lid. Pickles usually come in jars. Never put your hand in a jar, unless you are sure you can get your hand out. If you have to walk around with a jar on your hand, people will stare.

Looks like Mr. Ertel doesn’t like turtles, has some bad pig-based memories, and has an interesting embarrassing story to tell about a jar. usually gets the job of putting the Captain to bed, so I haven’t had a lot of quality time with the book, but I’ll keep an eye out for more hilarity.

One thing that made getting the first volume totally worthwhile is the dedication. It really makes me want to track Mr. Ertel down and become his SuperFan/stalker. Or maybe just his adopted daughter. Here it is in its entirety:

This dictionary is affectionately dedicated to Jean, Chris, Scout, and Herman. They had the forbearance to put up with me during the long months when it was being written. (Forbearance is not in this dictionary, unfortunately.) Scout and Herman got off lucky. Scout is a collie, and Herman is a hamster. They never had to help me over the rough places, except by being pleasant and cheerful. Jean is my wife, and Chris is our son. They often took time from other things to read definitions I was not sure were clear. They pointed out things that were wrong, made suggestions, and gave cheering encouragement. (Encourage is in this dictionary.)

Love it.