I used to think that the writers’ strike was actually a good thing. I was falling so far behind on the shows that I wanted to watch that was beginning to make that weird growling noise he makes when he’s really anxious about the number of hours we have left on the PVR. Plus, I have at least a hundred movies that have come out in the last five years that I’d like to see sometime, and I also thought it’d be a good time to check out some other TV shows like Life and Pushing Daisies that I’ve heard such good things about. And now that I’m watching Jeopardy! every day and actually making an effort to keep up with the news of the day as part of my World Trivia Night training, I barely have time for scripted TV and movies anymore, anyway.

But now, there’s a problem. Two words, my friends.

American Gladiators.

I was a total AG addict during its first run. Which, by the way, I am astonished to discover ran while I was in university, presumably when I was adding to my intellect and focusing on higher pursuits…so much for my education, Mom! My favourite was Skye. She was so cool. I wonder where she is now, and if she wants to be my friend. Or my bodyguard.

Now, due to the writers’ strike, it’s back, baby. Pretty much identical to the original show. So far there’s been a two-hour premiere and a one-hour follow up show aired, and I already know all the names of the Gladiators. Crush is my favourite. She is so cool.

We caught the beginning of the first episode on Monday night and asked me if I would like to record it, and I was like, “Um, I can’t believe you actually had to ask me that question.” I only made it through the first hour, however, before I had to go to bed.

So the next day, when I had had enough of Doodlebops and Toopy And Binoo…there it was, just sitting there on the PVR. Taking up valuable room, which might at any moment lead to more growling.

The kids would enjoy it, wouldn’t they? It was like a sporting event! Only with fancier lighting! And costumes and fire pits and people throwing other people around like rag dolls! Fun for the whole family!

Captain Jelly Belly claims he likes the show. He was even excited about watching Tuesday’s episode the next morning. But he’s never quite sure where his allegiances lie — should he support the Contender, or should he cheer for the Gladiator? Does he want Wolf or Mayhem to fall in the water, where their powers to stomp all over people in the Captain’s nightmares are doused…or does he want to cheer for the Gladiators, so they don’t come after him later for revenge? And so, he captures the dichotomy of emotion common to all AG viewers.

Gal Smiley also claimed to enjoy the show. During the first episode, she was full of interesting questions like, “Why is there fire?” — totally not believing us when we explained that it was just to look good on television — and “Why do some people have microphones?” — totally not grasping the concept of “host.” Oh and also, “Why is that man with the microphone the Contender’s brother?” — I must send a quick note to Hulk Hogan asking him not to refer to all the male contestants as “brother” in his interviews.

But during today’s episode, when Gladiator Venom pulled the Red Contender Girl from the rings into the water during Hanging Tough — poor Gal Smiley cried. She just felt so bad for Red Contender Girl. Meanwhile, at the other end of the couch, Captain Jelly Belly was asking me in a quavering voice to vow that Daddy and I would never, ever, not in a million years, go on this show. Because he would miss us too much. After the Gladiators totally stomped all over us.

So I’m thinking, maybe, not so much on the family-friendly programming. Of course I totally blame the writers’ strike for the fact that my children will never sleep soundly again.

Speaking of bad parenting, over at finslippy a winner has been declared in the Bad Mommy competition. It’s well worth a read, if you have time — doesn’t hold a candle to my AG story!