So last night around dinnertime, Sir Monkeypants reminded me that he was going out to play poker around 8. Not usually a big deal; all the kids are in bed by then and usually it’s flake time for us anyway. But for some reason I was filled with dread; I just knew it was not going to be an easy night around here.

And I was right. Around 7:45, just as was leaving…

I heard crying. The Wee One. I spent the next hour rocking her and nursing her, finally getting her back to sleep an hour later. Then I unwound by watching 30 Rock, then it was off to bed around 9:15. Just 45 minutes later…

I heard crying. Gal Smiley. She’d had a nightmare and needed comforting. Getting up within an hour of going to bed is really, really hard, and I groggily stumbled to her room. When she asked me to lie down with her, I was like, “No problem!” I “slept” there with her for a while — she’s a very active sleeper, so it’s hard to get enough elbow room for quality sleep in her little twin bed. Around 11:30 I’d had enough and was just on my way back to my own room when…

I heard crying. Captain Jelly Belly. So I detour to his room, where he’s having a little meltdown. This happens every so often — he wakes up screaming and thrashing around with a night terror, unable to talk or communicate with us because he isn’t actually fully awake. We used to freak out about these incidents but now we know that although it seems scary, he acutally isn’t aware of what is going on and won’t remember it in the morning. The way to deal with them is to wake him up fully, calm him down, then put him back to bed, so I took care of all that, and after a half hour or so, he was ready to lie down again. He asked me to stay, and I said I would for a few minutes until he fell asleep, when…

I heard crying. The Wee One. I explained to the Captain that I couldn’t stay anymore, and thankfully he said okay, Goodnight Mom, and I headed over to nurse the baby back to sleep. She was back in bed around 12:30 and I was just on my way back to my own bed when…

I heard crying. Gal Smiley. Upset to discover that I’d left her. I calmed her down and she went back to sleep fairly quickly. I was back in my own bed around 12:45 and got a full hour of sleep before got home from poker, waking me up as he got into bed. We were both just settling down for sleep when…

We heard crying. Captain Jelly Belly, having an unprecidented second freak-out of the night. Since was going to be lucky to get 4 hours of sleep, and I was awake anyway, I took this one and started the whole wake up/calm down routine again. There’s only so long a parent can listen to their kid scream, though, so after a few minutes got up to help out, and once we soothed the Captain, offered to stay with him for better sleep for all. Back to bed for me around 2:15, and then at 3…

I heard crying. The Wee One. Time for another nursing/rocking cycle. I was back to bed around 3:30, and as sometimes happens when I’ve had really interrupted sleep, I couldn’t settle down myself. I think I finally fell asleep around 4, and got to sleep until 6, when…

I heard crying. The Wee One. Time for our last nursing/rocking cycle. And just as she went back to bed at 6:30…

I heard someone calling, “Mommy!” Gal Smiley was up for the day, and so was I. Six total hours of sleep in interrupted blocks of no longer than two hours each.

I think that this is really as bad as it can possibly get. It’s all uphill from here.

Plus, tonight, I’m playing poker. If I can stay awake for it.