I know I’m singing an old tune here, but man, am I tired. Things were cruising along quite well up until a few weeks ago, when I caught The Cold, the one that everyone has, the one that will not die, even after two weeks of coughing. And since I was already getting up a couple of times a night to reapply the Vicks and pop a Halls, I figured what the hell, let’s take away the Wee One’s chair.

I’ve been meaning for a while to write a book, or at least a detailed pamphlet, describing all the things that maternity and baby books don’t tell you. The books cover about 99% of the things you need to know as a new mom, but it’s that last 1% that will really freak you out. Like how your first post-delivery poop will be one of the most traumatic things you’ll live through. And how the IV required if you have an epidural will give you elephant-like ankles for two weeks afterwards. And about how newborn babies sleep better in a chair.

It’s a great secret never mentioned in the baby books, but if your newborn baby is having trouble sleeping, a chair — like their infant car seat — is the way to go. It’s a small space, which makes them feel cocooned and safe and warm. It’s upright, so if they are having some problems with gas bubbles, they can easily float out, instead of getting trapped, causing pain and crying. And if they happen to contract a cold, being on an upward angle will help them breathe easier. All of which will help them sleep better.

A friend of ours gave us the chair advice when we were having serious trouble getting more than an hour’s sleep at a time overnight with the Captain when he was about six weeks old, and it was one of the best pieces of advice ever, restoring sanity and joy to our little family. With Gal Smiley, we slept her in her chair about half the time for the first few weeks. With the Wee One, we didn’t mess around — it was all chair, all the time, day and night. We were rewarded, too — she slept through the night, I’m talking 11 or 12 hours, by six weeks old; she put herself to sleep for naps and napped happily for hours at a time every day.

So it was with great trepidation and sadness that we retired the chair about two weeks ago. The Wee One was developing a bit of a cone head from being in the chair so much (the only side effect, our doctor assures us, and it clears up quickly once you have them sleeping flat), so it was time to embrace a normal sleeping position. And as expected, the sleep has been a little rougher lately. Instead of sleeping through the night, she’s getting up at least twice, sometimes three times to eat; naps have been completely erratic, ranging from 20 to 40 minutes at the most. I expected as much, but with the ongoing cold and the chair issues, sleep has been pretty hard to come by around here. It’ll sort itself out, but in the meantime, we’re in for a month or so of bleary eyes and waking up already tired.

But the toilet training is going pretty well. Assuming I can stay awake long enough to pursue it!