Sir Monkeypants and I have been watching a new show called Grand Slam on my favourite TV channel, the Game Show Network. I love all game shows and I watch far, far too much of GSN. One time I read an article about how stay-at-home moms who watch game shows are looking to escape their current life into a fantasy world. To them I say, bite me, and also, you’re just jealous that you don’t have a brand new toaster oven and a chance to trade up for a new car. Na na na na na!

Anyway, Grand Slam is an awesome show, at which my friend SmokingToaster would totally kick ass. There are two players and they stand facing each other on a minimalist stage. They answer questions, and it is timed like a speed chess match — your counter counts down until you answer a question correctly, then your counter stops and the other guy’s counter starts, until he answers a question correctly. They go back and forth until someone is out of time, and the remaining time on the other clock is carried forward into future rounds.

Round 1 is general knowledge and trivia. Round 2 is math and numbers. Round 3, where most of the contestants have trouble and where SmokingToaster would take them down, is word manipulation — jumbles, spelling, finding a hidden word in a nonsense sentence, that sort of thing. Then there is a final round where questions can come from any of the three previous categories.

What makes the show really fabulous is that it is not just for any random two contestants. Instead, they have assembled 16 of the most famous contestants from other game shows, seeded them, and they are playing each other in a round-robin, elimination style, that will pick one eventual winner. Of course Ken Jennings is there, ranked second, and some other famous Jeopardy dudes, as well as Millionaire winners, Weakest Link winners, and various other game show representatives. We saw Ken compete last week and he was great, but not invincible, as opposed to a couple of the other Jeopardy guys who were machines, especially in the math round. It’s really exciting and fast.

Plus, the host is Dennis Miller, who is a really smart guy and quick with the quips. He makes it entertaining in a very highbrow kind of way. If you get GSN, I’d recommend checking it out this summer.