I would say that my number one pet peeve in this world is able-bodied people who use the elevator at Bayshore, our local 3-story mall. There’s a huge sign posted right by the elevator that says that preference should be given to the handicapped, elderly, and people with strollers, and since there’s another big sign posted by the escalators saying that no strollers are allowed over there, parents with babies are forced to take the elevator as their only means of between floor transportation. But there’s been more than one occasion when we’ve had to wait for the next elevator ride, because the current elevator was full of stupid people who are too lazy to walk the extra 50 feet to get to a staircase or escalator, like, heaven forbid you have to walk when shopping, and why don’t they have a service where you can sit in a comfy couch while all the stores parade their wares right past you, like the big revolving stage they used to have at the end of Wheel Of Fortune?
The other day Sir Monkeypants and I were at the mall, and we were waiting at level 2 to ride up to level 3, along with three other stroller families. Getting four strollers into the small elevator is a challenge already, and just as the elevator arrived, along comes this 40-ish woman with a fake tan and huge sunglasses who dashes up and — unbelievably — pushes past the stroller families to get onto the elevator AND — I am not making this up — she actually wanted to go to the first floor, but decided to “come along for the ride” to the third. Because hey, us people with strollers and no other way to get to the third floor are MORE THAN HAPPY to make room for an able-bodied woman who will make it harder for us to get on and harder for us to get off at the next floor, seeing as how she will ever-so-kindly lean to one side while we try to navigate all our strollers around her to get out.
So once we were off at the third floor, Sir Monkeypants and I made it about 10 feet from the elevator before having this conversation:
Him: Could you BELIEVE that?
Me: No! Have you ever?
Him: Never! And did you see what…
Me: Totally! And the “coming along for the ride”?
Him: I KNOW!
And that went on for like, 10 minutes until we had it out of our system.
But actually, believe it or not, I only intended to mention this elevator incident in passing, because today’s post is actually about my number two pet peeve, which is people who bring their kids to the park, and then ignore them, leaving the parents who are actually engaged in watching their toddlers to provide discipline for the whole set. We just got back from the park and there were three other mommies there, with an assortment of six or seven other toddlers — definitely no kids older than 4 — and it was the worst park experience we’ve ever had.
We have one really big rule at the park, and that is NO THROWING SAND. Of course, all of the other kids at the park were throwing sand at each other, in each other’s faces and over their heads even, while their moms/caregivers chatted and paid no attention whatsoever. The throwing of sand really stressed out the Captain, because that is RULE BREAKING. Meanwhile, Gal Smiley did not understand why she could not throw sand while other kids were allowed, so she tried to get into the mix, and I tried to pull her out, and she wound up with a face full of sand and enough sand in her hair to start a new resort in Cancun. I think she has learned that the sand throwing is really, actually, not that great an idea, but in the meantime I totally wanted to shove some of those other obnoxious toddlers around a bit, then challenge their moms to a rumble in which I would totally TAKE THEM DOWN, possibly by throwing sand in their eyes, ha ha!
And although the other kids had plenty of their own sand toys, of course, they had to rush over and steal ours as soon as Gal Smiley put them down for one second. And usually I’m all about the sharing, and giving other people turns, but when one little boy says he NEEDS to use all three of our shovels and both of our pails at the same time, and refuses to let Gal Smiley do any digging, and PLUS, he has a giant smelly poopy diaper, all of which is mom/caregiver does not seem to give a damn about, it makes me feel like I’m the only parent out here who is actually TRYING. Like, people, pay attention! Make your kids share! Make your kids play nice! The park is for everyone, not just for you to have a little vacay while other parents DO YOUR JOB!
Grrrr.
So, we wound up doing a little sliding and then both my kids, who ADORE the park, actually asked to go home. Which is sad. So we had to take our sand toys back from the mini-hooligans (very satisfying for me, I only wish they had cried a little more about it when I took it out of their evil little hands) and head home, so we could all have a snack and some juice and hopefully cool off a bit. Personally I’m really looking forward to the day when I can slip a little gin in my juice cup!
TurtleHead 
Able-bodied people using the Bayshore elevator = OM FUCKING G! KILL. ALL. NOW.
On one particularily frustrating occasion, I got into an altercation with a surly, yet perfectly mobile young man over who claimed was due the only available elevator spot because he “was there first, bitch!” I’m not normally a physical person, but in this case I made an exception and shoved him out of my way.
Whoa, seriously? Man, is going to love you now for all eternity!
I have to say that the elevator problem is partly the architect of Bayshore’s fault. I don’t shop at Bayshore because it’s so hard to get around quickly. They force you to walk far disances to get between floors, no doubt so that you see more stores and do more shopping. No, I’m not excusing the elevator rule breakers nor have I taken the elevator myself, but I can sort of see so folks doing it because they’re sick of walking half a mile to the nearest staircase/escalator.
As for your park situation, I have some half-assed ideas you could consider:
a) stop letting other kids use your toys. Tell the kid that you don’t let people you don’t know use your toys. If the kid complains to his mom, explain that you’ve had problems in the past with not getting the toys back. This of course relies on CJB and GS not using other kids’ toys, but I imagine they don’t do that anyway. Remember, you’re way bigger than those kids so if you have to say “no” to them, they’ll probably listen. You don’t have to be nice to anyone’s kids except your own, those in the family or those of your friends.
b) move as far as you can away from the sand throwers. Sure, this might not be far and your kids will still see what’s going on, but hopefully you can distract them well enough and of course tell them those are bad kids. I’d like to think you could say something to the other mom’s about this, but clearly they don’t care.
I wish I had better ideas for you. It sucks that people aren’t using the park fairly, but life is kinda like that. Most people are selfish and inconsiderate.
Totally. Fight the man!
I agree about Bayshore — they really need another set of escalators in the middle of the mall. But I’ve learned to adapt — now I plan my shopping so I can go back and forth and hit all the stores I want to see, while ending up at the right ends.
As for the park, good ideas, although I’ll probably just continue to be kind of wishy washy about it. The park has exposed me to a whole world of complex parental relations that I don’t really know how to handle yet. It’s amazing how touchy other parents are about their own kids — even if their kid is doing something obviously bad, like hitting another kid, if you say something about it, parents get really offended. I think it is because they think that if you felt the need to say something, you are implying that they are a bad parent for not stepping in themselves earlier, so they get all defensive, and a fight can break out. This has happened to Agi before.
It’s hard to keep Gal Smiley away from the sand throwers, since she loves to make new friends, and she is too young to understand that some people are just not going to treat her nicely (especially when the majority of kids we meet at the park are super nice and play really well with her, which makes her so happy). She got really stressed out when that kid at the park today wouldn’t let her have one of the shovels and pails, and I just didn’t know what to say to her. I feel like I can’t put a “no sharing” rule on our stuff since my own kids are really prone to picking up stray toys that no one is using, and I think that is okay since I am very careful to watch and make sure the toys are returned, and that the original owner can get them back whenever they show renewed interest in wanting them. But I don’t know how to handle other parents that aren’t so vigilant…like, if I physically take one of our shovels out of this other kid’s hand, and he wails, is the other mom going to scream at me? Are we going to get into a “who is the better parent” fight? Shudder.
Kay, enough rambling!
Eesh, man, that is one sticky situation. Maybe you can bulid a “by invitation only” park!
So we had to take our sand toys back from the mini-hooligans (very satisfying for me, I only wish they had cried a little more about it when I took it out of their evil little hands)
Heh heh, I’m only sorry the parent/caregiver didn’t say something, so you could have identified him/her for future reference!