I just read this interesting post over at Mom101. It’s about extended breast feeding — that is, breast feeding after the age of 2. I think she captures my feelings on the subject perfectly. Although I know, intellectually, that it is a good thing and a natural thing and a very healthy thing to do for your child, it still kind of weirds me out, and I wish it didn’t, because one thing I’ve learned as a mother is that every family does what works for them, and our job as moms in this community is to be super supportive and non-judgmental of our choices.

But still.

I think I can handle the idea of an older toddler crawling into bed with Mommy for a morning or bedtime cuddle and snack. But what gives me the heebie jeebies is the idea of older kids interrupting playdates to dash over for a quick snack at Mom’s Juice Bar. And here, I should mention that breast feeding in general always seemed kind of weird and yes, gross, to me, which is totally on par with the North American culture. I remember the first time I ever saw someone breastfeed — my friend Chantal, about five years before Captain Jelly Belly was born. We were at a party and she had her newborn son with her, and he fussed, and she quite nonchalantly lifted her very discreet nursing top to pop him on, and there was this loud CRACK of my jaw hitting the ground, before I nervously started to stare at the ceiling while trying to continue my conversation with her as if nothing had happened.

I definitely get this attitude from my mother’s generation, who consider breast feeding tantamount to unsanitary, and there was a lot of pressure on me to wean my kids early from my own mom, who just did not get the breast feeding at all. In fact, although I weaned both my kids at around 11-12 months, she is convinced in her head that I nursed my babies for years and years, and they were practically ready for high school by the time I got around to saying no.

Anyway, as I was saying, I always thought the whole thing was very icky, and although I knew I would try to nurse my kids as it was the healthiest choice, I thought I’d have major problems getting over the mental hurdles. Once I was there, in the moment, it wasn’t bad at all, and it’s amazing how fast you get over any and all physical hangups after you’ve had half a hospital’s worth of doctors and nurses peering at your nether regions during childbirth. Soon, I was nursing with no hangups whatsoever in front of my husband, my friends, even in a quiet corner at the food court at the mall. It was just no big deal.

But the weirdest thing of all was that as soon as Gal Smiley was weaned…I reverted to my old attitudes incredibly fast. Within a month or two, seeing other nursing moms at the mall felt awkward and strange. And that’s for moms nursing young babies…I can’t imagine what an embarrassing and horrible reaction I would have to seeing a mom nursing a toddler in public. Even if it were a friend of mine, and I was totally behind her and supported her choice (which I would, no question)…I’m sure I would find myself staring at the ceiling again, trying to hide my discomfort.

I just find it interesting that someone who has been through the whole nursing thing can still be made uncomfortable by it. And that of all the different choices different moms can make, this one is the hardest for our culture to accept and support. I really hope that by the time my kids have kids, the general attitude towards breast feeding has grown even more positive, and that I can be completely open minded and supportive of the choices they make for my grandchildren.