Everyone has something about their body that they don’t like. Maybe it’s the way your ears stick out, or your hairy toes, or the way your butt is a little more J. Lo than you’d like. For me, it’s my teeth. They’re not rotting or gross in a British sort of way, or anything like that, but they are very big. Their size has led to overcrowding, which apparently cannot be fixed with braces because my bite is already perfect, but the overcrowding does make my eye teeth stick out in a rather vampiric way. I’m not so self-conscious about it that I can’t smile or talk or function normally on a daily basis, and every time I’ve brought this up with friends they’ve sworn that they don’t notice at all. But one time I was at a party in high school and met this guy, a friend of friends, and the first words out of his mouth were, “Wow, you have really big teeth,” and I was like, great dude, now we are so totally BFF forever. So I know it’s at least noticeable to the outside world.

This morning I was sitting next to Captain Jelly Belly, and he pointed out my more prominent eye tooth. Yesterday, we watched a TV show where someone had a loose tooth, so he said to me, “Hey, you have a loose tooth!” I explained that it wasn’t loose, it just was a little crooked. And I felt really sad about it, although I tried to play it casual, acting like it was no big deal, and reassuring CJB that his teeth were beautiful and perfect and straight.

I know he probably doesn’t care at all about my teeth, but it’s just that one thing, you know? That one thing that you don’t want people to notice. I thought I was prepared for our kids to someday see us in a different light — to be teenagers and think that we are so embarrassing, or so stupid, or so out of touch with reality. I thought I was prepared for them to think that we made mistakes, or were bad parents in some way, because inside, I know and I are doing the best we can, and giving all we can give. But I guess I was just fooling myself, because this one little thing — nothing that even reflects on my ability to be a mom! — this one suggestion that I am not 100% perfect in CJB’s eyes was just so upsetting.

I’m sure I’ll be over it within the hour. In the meantime, I’ll just have to make up for it with lots and lots of hugs and kisses from the kids. Always a good emotional salve!