I used to think that the only really great thing about being pregnant was the pregnant lady parking at the grocery store. I rarely parked in the special spots when I was pregnant with the Captain, but with Gal Smiley and this one I’ve been a heavy user. With two kids to juggle and a cart full of groceries to push, in -30 degree weather, I’ll take any excuse for the close parking. Our new Superstore has like, 10 pregnant lady spots but it’s surprising how often they are almost all full. On the few occasions when I actually haven’t been able to get pregnant lady parking, I get all mad and vigilante — I want to stand outside and police every woman who comes out, forcing her to show an ultrasound picture to validate her parking choice, subject to a sentence of many, many glares and feelings of self-righteousness on my part.

Anyway, I’ve recently moved into maternity wear and I have a new pregnancy benefit: elastic waist pants. All my maternity pants are fully elastic around the waistband, with the added bonus of a big stretchy panel in front. Not only are these things a breeze to pop down and up for potty time, they also expand at will whenever I’m faced with an enormous meal (which, let’s face it, is at least five times a day these days). My youngest sister has special elastic waist pants that she calls her “buffet pants,” suitable for all-you-can-eat buffets, as they expand with your growing tummy. My maternity pants are like all buffet pants, all the time. The comfort! The quickness of the pee! The ability to eat a dozen chocolate chip oatmeal muffins in one sitting and not have to have the guilty reminder of a too-tight waistband!

Yup, I’ll miss the maternity pants when they’re gone.