Well, I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with baited breath for my comments on EW’s list of the top 50 sidekicks of all time, which came out this past week. Naturally, like all lists of its nature, I have several complaints and disappointments. Sadly, I’m sure no one else cares about such a list as much as I do…but when it comes to the sidekicks, I’m a purist!
Here’s what I love about sidekicks. They are loyal in all circumstances. They are willing to follow the hero into crazy situations, following crazy plans, with few questions. They are willing to stay on the sidelines of the action, delivering funny quips, while the hero soaks up the attention. They’ll listen to the hero’s problems, but also smack him around a little bit if he gets too self-involved. They’re down-to-earth, real people that I wanna hang with.
So by those standards, EW did well with their #1 choice — Ed McMahon, sidekick to Johnny Carson. Classic sidekick, fits the criteria, definitely enhanced a famous and long-running show. Other choices from the top 50 that I liked: Dr. Watson, Samwise Gamgee, Willow Rosenberg, Gromit, Rhoda Morgenstern, Goose (damn right!), Barney Rubble, Piglet, Larry from Three’s Company, and Duckie (from Pretty in Pink — damn right!).
But too many of the other “sidekicks” just don’t fit into the definition of sidekick, in my book. #3 is George Costanza…great, unforgettable character, and I guess technically Seinfeld was the “star” and George was the “sidekick,” but I really see that show as an ensemble of four equals. #36 is Ford Prefect, in theory the sidekick to Arthur Dent in the Hitchhiker’s Guide books, but seriously, isn’t Ford the really cool hero guy, and Arthur the tag-a-long? And aren’t they both sidekicks to Zaphod? #33 is Lenny and Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley, but those guys aren’t sidekicks to the main gals, more like thorns in their sides.
Other sidekicks are too obscure, or from shows that haven’t been around long enough, to qualify for the top 50 list. #10 is Dwight Schrute from The Office — first of all, I’d argue at classifying him as Michael’s sidekick, and secondly, a lesser character from a show with middling ratings that has only been on for 1.5 seasons doesn’t seem to warrant coming in at #10. Similar comments go to #38, Lane Kim from the Gilmore Girls, #42, Jeff Greene from the Larry David Show, and #50, Blue from the movie Old School (the really wrinkled old guy who, I think, dies at some point).
Worst of all are their attempts to work musical acts into the list. I know we all consider Andrew Ridgeley and John Oates to be the lesser halves of their duos, but would you really call them “sidekicks”? How about The “other” Supremes — I’m sure they’re thrilled to find out they are sidekicks to Diana Ross. And I guess I don’t know enough about music if Art Garfunkel and Keith Richards, who I thought were famous and respected musicians in their own right, are considered merely sidekicks.
I wanted to be able to answer my complaints by naming a few people who would have made better selections…and that’s why it’s taken me so long to post. I must admit that off the bat, it’s hard to think of names of sidekicks I have loved. Still, here’s a few names I would have loved to have seen:
Cosmo Brown (Donald O’Conner) in Singin’ In The Rain (probably my favourite sidekick of all time)
Jim Malone (Sean Connery) in The Untouchables
Plato (Sal Mineo) in Rebel Without A Cause
Kit (Laura San Giacomo) in Pretty Woman
Anita (Rita Moreno) in West Side Story (another of my favourites)
Inigo Montoya (Mandy Pantikin) and Fezzik (Andre the Giant) in The Princess Bride
Iolaus (Michael Hurst) from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
I’m sure more will come to me. Who are your favourite sidekicks, and did they make the list?
TurtleHead 
I agree with most of what you said. Especially the bit about the musicians. I generally feel that all attempts to call real life people “sidekicks” is vaguely uncomfortable – except in the case where they are deliberately playing that role (like Ed McMahon). In a recent issue of Vanity Fair they were interviewing Beyonce, and one of the questions was basically, “how do you feel when you hear people say that you’re the leader of Destiny’s Child, and the other two are your sidekicks?” She replied that whenever she hears that it makes her want to cry, because they are all such close friends.
Other than the real-lifers, many of the entries I didn’t like were ones where they obviously just picked a minor character from a show and called him a sidekick.
People I liked on the list:
Robin
Chewie
Watson
Samwise
Smithers
Willow
Andy Richter
Donkey (from Shrek)
Goose
Hank Kingsley
Garth Algar
Barney Rubble
People I didn’t like:
Turtle – um, it’s not a sidekick, it’s an entourage. And Turtle is the most obnoxious one.
Lane Kim – She’s just Rory’s friend. And she has a life of her own. Hardly a Sidekick.
Silent Bob – If they think Silent Bob is Jay’s sidekick, they clearly don’t understand those characters.
Jimmy Olsen – He’s not so much Superman’s sidekick as he is a cheering bystander
Bender – If anything, Fry is Bender’s sidekick ;). Which shows how wrong either of them are on this list.
My picks they missed
Milhouse (to Bart)
Hamish (to Braveheart)
Gabrielle (to Xena)
Fezzik (to Inigo)
Mike (to Sully) in Monsters Inc.
I’d also say that Marion is a better choice for sidekick than Sallah in Raiders of the Lost Arc. She’s more a sidekick than a romance. Well she’s sort of both.
Man, I so totally agree about Silent Bob. That one was just plain wrong. Ditto for Jimmy Olsen…he is absolutely not Superman’s “sidekick.” It’s like, by the time they were down to #30 on the list, they were just grasping at straws, which is sad, when there is so much rich sidekick material available out there.
I almost put Stephen, the Irish guy, from Braveheart on my list, but then left him off because I think Hamish is the real sidekick there. But although Hamish is great, Stephen is my favourite character. He’s adorable.
I never did like Gabrielle though. Too whiny :).
I thought of another one I really like last night…Romeo (Cheech Marin) in Tin Cup. “You just threw that in the spa!”
Ooo, good call on Milhouse. Although Duckie is my quintessential sidekick, here are some of my other favourites:
Cameron (to Ferris, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
Watts (to Keith, Some Kind of Wonderful)
Dory (to Marlin, Finding Nemo)
Corey (to Lloyd, Say Anything)
Sheriff Truman (to Special Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks)
Dorothy (to Loralei, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)
Jerry/Daphne (to Joe/Josephine, Some Like it Hot)
Loco and Pola (to Schatze, How to Marry a Millionaire)
Maybe that last one doesn’t count. Hm…
Excellent suggestions! I can’t believe I forgot Dory, I love her. I thought of Cameron just a little while ago — he’s also great. And you know how much I love Dorothy. “No one chaparones the chaparone. That’s why I’m so right for this job!”
I had Jerry/Daphne on my list too, originally, but then I thought maybe he was too big of a character, with too much of his own storyline, to qualify for a sidekick. But I guess his is the “B” plot (and the funnier plot!).
I have to agree with the list on Art Garfunkel — you can always tell who really mattered when one guy from a duo goes on to a stellar solo career and the other fades into obscurity.
Whenever I think of Art Garfunkel I always think of Kevin Bacon’s spoof of him on SNL. The sketch is an ad for his solo album now that his duo has split up, but his character only played the spoons in the duo, so although the album is hyped to the max, it’s obviously quite lame.
Even Garfunkel himself has played up his relative obscurity on SNL. One when Paul Simon was hosting, there was a bit where Simon is going to a movie and a whole bunch of people in line recognize him. He’s so down-to-earth though (in the sketch) that he remembers all of them – from peers, to childhood friends, to fans who were hundreds of rows back in the concert at Central park – except for Art Garfunkel, whom Simon can’t place. Pretty funny.