The other day I was saying to Sir Monkeypants how there are very few people in the world that I can call up and say, “It’s me,” and they will know who is speaking. Here’s the full list of my peeps: Sir Monkeypants, FameThrowa, and my good friend Mrs Carl Sagan. I can’t even put my own mother on this list because I have three sisters, and we all sound enough alike that without any context or special phrasing, she can’t tell which one of us is on the phone. A few times I’ve greeted her with, “Hey, it’s me!” and then I get the guarded, “Oh? how are you?” which means that she has no idea who it is, and then I come back with, “I’m really tired, I got like, no sleep last night, and that screaming you hear in the background has been going on for the past hour and a half,” and then she says, “Oh! Lynn! Right.”

So last night I was going to my ultimate game at a new field, and I left my directions at home but I thought I remembered them correctly. As it turns out…not so much. I got really lost and then I got out my cell phone to call home and ask Sir Monkeypants how the hell to get there. It was right at the kids’ bedtime though, so he didn’t pick up, and I wound up leaving a message.

(The rest of the story isn’t important to this post but just so I don’t have anyone tipping right off the edge of their seat or passing out from tension, I’ll let you know that while I was on the phone trying to get directions from FameThrowa, a nice and rather cute policeman pulled up and asked if I needed any help, and when I told him I was lost, he graciously granted me a police escort to the field. So I made it, and also in case you’re dying to know, we lost, but I had a good game.)

This morning I noticed there was an unheard message on the machine and so I pressed play, and the person on the message opened with, “Hey, it’s me,” and I was like, “Who is that? Is that SocialButterfly calling? LittleSis?” And then doh!, I realized it was actually myself, the Lost And Wandering message from last night.

So I guess if I can’t even recognize my own voice on our answering machine, I shouldn’t hold it against my mom!