So TomKat (gack) is back on the town — Tom Cruise took Katie Holmes to one of the MI3 premieres this past weekend, just 16 days after she gave “birth” to their “daughter.” Already gossip columnists are pointing out how slim she looks, and how that only encourages more people to think that she was never really pregnant and it’s all some sort of scam.

I think it’s kind of sad that, a few years from now, Katie could write a tell-all biography and I would totally believe anything and everything she had to say about Tom Cruise. She was kept drugged and semi-conscious the whole pregnancy? I believe it. She was made to sleep in a hyperbaric chamber and wasn’t allowed to use the phone unless wearing a medical mask? I believe it. Post-birth, the baby was taken away from her and she could only see it for one hour a day, so the baby would bond more with Tom than Katie? I believe it. Tom organised daily chanting sessions in which the baby was worshipped and offered blood sacrifices? I believe it.

I’ve never liked Tom Cruise but even I feel sad that it’s come to this. Soon he’ll be some sort of freak of legend like Howard Hughes or Michael Jackson. Fame and riches really are some sort of weird disease that eats the brains of people, it seems.