Me: Hurry up and finish eating, I need to pee.
CJB: Can I see your penis?
Me: I don’t have one, because I’m a girl. Only boys have a penis.

[Editor’s note: Lest you think this is a huge traumatic moment for the Captain, this is a subject we have discussed many, many times before. I never thought I’d be so comfortable using the word “penis” in everyday conversation.]

CJB: Yes, you do!
Me: No, I really don’t.
CJB: But I’ve seen it! In the bathtub!
Me: You have? I don’t think so. Daddy, yes. Mommy, no.
CJB: Yes, you have a penis!
Me: No, I’m a girl.
CJB: You do so.
Me: Nope.

CJB gives me the eye roll and shrug that says, “Oh, Mother, so little you know of the ways of the world,” and gets down from the table to go play trains.