This weekend we rented Alexander, the Oliver Stone film starring Colin Farrell and Angelina Jolie. It was unbeliveably bad. I’m sure I’ve seen worse films but definitely not in recent memory — one advantage to never seeing anything in the theatre is that, by the time it comes out on DVD, you know if it’s worth the rental. I’d do a mini-review for Alexander but it was so terrible I barely know where to start. It was directionless and pointless and difficult to follow. The characters were poorly developed and when members of Alex’s posse were killed, I barely knew or cared who they were. The script was like the opening scene of a Shakespearean history — awkward language and clunky exposition delivered by undeveloped nameless characters — only repeated over and over again. Colin Farrell lacked charisma and never seemed to get a handle on his character, and definitely looked uncomfortable in his fright wig. Just about the only positive thing I can say is that Val Kilmer, clearly flying under Oliver Stone’s radar somehow, hammed it up to hilarious effect as Alex’s father, giving us a break from the tedium from time to time.

Despite the fact that the film was just awful, I kind of liked seeing it. It’s nice to know that crap is still out there, and it throws all the good stuff we’ve seen recently (In Good Company, and surprisingly, Hitch and Spanglish) into relief. It makes me feel like I’m not really missing all that much by no longer hitting the theatres every weekend.