This morning, it had been four days since Gal Smiley pooped.

She’s taking well to solids, but she isn’t too crazy about certain green vegetables. And she’s still getting the hang of her sippy cup; she likes to let the water trickle into her mouth, then blow a raspberry and let it all run down her chin. On the few occasions where she actually swallows some liquid, her eyes fly open, she gasps, and her whole body shakes, as if she’s just taken a shot of vodka. I predict that she will be a very cheap drunk someday. Anyway, the combination of extra solids and no extra fluids has stopped her up a little bit. A couple of days of tummy rubs and warm baths weren’t doing the trick, and she was getting pretty cranky about it.

So this morning I pulled out the Big Gun. It’s a cute, hip outfit we have on loan from my friend Fiona. Since it’s a loaner I’m always afraid that we’ll stain it or tear it or otherwise ruin it somehow, and precisely because of this, Gal Smiley always makes a point of either barfing on it, or more likely, pooping on it, every time she has it on. As I put it on her this morning I told her I expected results by the end of the day.

She took extra long falling asleep for her first nap so I should have suspected something was up. In any case when she woke up, it only took one step into the room to figure out that she took my threats seriously, and delivered big time. Fiona’s poor outfit had never seen so much action. I’ve changed a lot of poopy diapers in the past two years but nothing like this. A million wipes later, it was clear that either I was going to have to cut the clothes off of her — not an option — or pull them off, spreading the smelly goop all over her back, arms, and hair. Gack! She went immediately into the tub where I hosed her down as best I could. An hour later and I think I finally have everything cleaned up.

The good part is that although I was squealing and squealing, and Captain Jelly Belly ran for cover and hid the whole time in his room, Gal Smiley was so, so happy. It’s good to get it all out there.