I’d like to put the following facts into evidence.

1. The First Lady is four weeks old today and is adorable and charming and sweet, and — shall we say — a strongly motivated nurser.
2. A good night’s sleep can be defined as six hours total, with at least one interval longer than an hour.
3. Diaper cream, when placed on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste, doesn’t taste very good, nor does it clean your teeth very well.
4. Garbage, when placed accidentally in the dishwasher, gets really clean but is still garbage.
5. You can make a LiveJournal post while holding your baby in one hand, but it’s really hard to play your new XBox.
6. Barbie Wild Horse Rescue is the best XBox game ever.
7. There’s no freakin’ way that so-called pregnant lady on the TV show Lost could survive a few hours, let alone a few days, without food, without becoming a much, much bigger threat to the survivors than any of the wild animals on the island, and don’t even get me started about the food requirements for nursing.
8. Britney Spears is really foolish for marrying that skanky Federline character, and a moron for even thinking about having his children. And she really, really needs to cut it out with the short-shorts that make her butt look huge. Sigh.