Why is it that ducks in children’s books and toys are always yellow with orange or red beaks? I’ve never seen a duck like that in real life.

I bring it up because “duck” was one of the Captain’s first words, and as a result he is adept at identifying iconic yellow ducks on his cups, clothes, toys, and in his favourite videos. He points and says, “Duck,” in an extremely cute manner.

But a few weeks ago I took him to the petting zoo, and they had ducks there, but of course they weren’t yellow. Most of them were brown and grey, and they had a couple that were white. I pointed and told the Captain that they were ducks, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Eventually I got him to identify the birds as ducks, but I could tell he was just humouring me. Inside he was thinking, “Hello, Mommy, ducks are yellow.”

As if the real world isn’t going to be shocking enough for the poor guy, now I have to deal with a duck crisis.