(With apologies to Sir Monkeypants; this morning I swore my next post would have something funny in the subject line that he said this morning, but I can’t remember what.)
My dream job used to be Governor-General of Canada — cool house, cool garden (where they play cricket all summer long), lots of fame, and the chance to plant trees with folks of different cultures. But I think the travelling is too much for me — heaven knows, I can’t stand being away from home for more than a few hours at time — and I’m not really qualified.
So these days, I dream of being a Hollywood screenwriter. That way, I could get in big with the hip stars of Hollywood (Laura Linney, call me!), everyone would admire my wit and cleverness, I’d get to go to the Academy Awards and wear lovely dresses — all while working at home and not being required to lose any weight. It’s the best of all possible worlds.
But in terms of getting famous, being a screenwriter is not the way to go about it. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about screenwriters I like that could serve as role models, and I’m ashamed to admit that although I have an extensive knowledge of actors, directors, and even cinematographers, there are few writers that I can even name, let alone admire. I can name plenty of cool directors who also happen to write — Cameron Crowe, Sofia Coppola, P.T. Anderson, Kevin Smith, M. Night Shyamalan, Quentin Tarantino, Baz Lurhmann, the Coen Brothers — but I like them mostly due to their directing abilities, their ability to create a certain mood and atmosphere onscreen, not for their ability to turn a phrase. Really, there are only two writers I can name that would draw me to the theatre based on their name in the credits alone, and they are Charlie Kaufman and Wes Anderson.
Charlie is the legendary writer of Being John Malkovich, Human Nature, Adaptation, and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. He’s unbelievably creative in terms of characters and storylines, but he also is just so great at manipulating the English language that every scene is a delight. Here’s how I know he’s a great writer: when FameThrowa and I went to see Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind last year, it had no pre-credits, and we both specifically stayed for the end credits to see who had written the film, because it was such a fantastic script — and lo, there was Charlie’s name. Amazing! The dude rocks.
Wes is really a writer/director like the others I named above, but unlike them — who I see as writing a script because they want to direct it — I think Wes is a fantastic writer in his own right. Anyone could direct his scripts and still come up with a great movie. His work on Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums is more than enough to get me to go see his next movie, no matter what the plot or stars or whatever.
So sad as it is that I can’t name the writers of most of the Best Picture Oscar winners for the past 20 years (who wrote Driving Miss Daisy? Unforgiven? Braveheart? Gladiator?), I’m starting to pay more attention.
Who’s your favourite screenwriter?
TurtleHead 
I agree with all of your choices, both in the “directors who can write” category and the screenwriters. Kaufman is certainly my favourite screenwriter, and I love the Coens and Wes Anderson.
No one else comes to mind to add to the list right now, but if I think of any, I’ll let you know!
I started paying attention to writers long after I started paying attention to directors. But I do pay attention, especially if I enjoy the film.
Some of my favourite screenwriters (who are known for being screenwriters, although some direct from time to time):
Scott Frank – Dead Again, Out of Site, Minority Report
David Koepp – Mission Impossible, Stir of Echoes
Stephen Zaillian – Schindler’s List, Searching for Bobby Fisher
Ted Griffin – Ocean’s Eleven, Matchstick Men
And of course, I love Aaron Sorkin.
I particularly love this bit of Dialogue from Ocean’s Eleven, I think it’s brilliant:
Danny: Hi Tess.
Tess: What are you doing here?
Danny: I got out. You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn’t come back? You must have noticed.
Tess: I don’t smoke. Don’t sit…
Danny: Now they tell me that I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny. I never got a check.
Danny: You’re not wearing your ring.
Tess: I sold it. I don’t have a husband, or didn’t you get the papers?
Danny: My last day inside.
Tess: I told you I’d write, Danny
Danny: Tess, you’re doing a great job curating the museum. The Vermeer is quite good. It’s simple, vibrant, although his work definitely fell off as he got quite older.
Tess: Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right. And then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Danny: Mm-hmm. All right, I’ll make this quick. I came here for you. I want to get on with my life. I want you with me.
Tess: You’re a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief. I don’t do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I’m with someone now who doesn’t have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he’s very clear on both.
Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?
Tess: You’ve met too many people like you. I’m with Terry now.
Danny: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn’t make me cry.
[Terry Walks Up]
Tess: Terry … um, Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me.
Terry: Is that right?
Danny: Yeah, imagine the odds.
Terry: Of all the gin joints in all the world. Is that it?
[Danny stands and Terry sits. Uncomfortable silence]
Terry: I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing Mr. Ocean again, will we?
Tess & Danny: No.
Danny: … No. No I just came by to say hi to Tess. Well goodbye Tess.
Tess: Bye Danny
Danny: Terry
Terry: “Danny”
Well .. he’s not technically a screen writer but .. I think I’d vote for Elmore Leonard. If you’ve ever read one of his novels you’ll know that they’re written more like a screenplay than a typical novel. The stories are driven by dialogue and there aren’t a lot of long paragraphs describing the luscious green foliage and rolling hills.
I just loved the script to Ocean’s Eleven. It’s one of those movies I can watch over and over. I’ve almost bought the DVD about 10 times — this is a big hint to for my birthday!
Thanks for the reminder about Scott Frank, I also think he’s excellent, and naturally, I adore Aaron Sorkin as well. The West Wing just isn’t the same without him — I actually didn’t even bother to watch it a couple of weeks ago when they had that crappy “live-action documentary” one about C.J. The new writers have no clue with Will or Charlie and the snap and wit just isn’t there. Crap.
I’m ashamed to say I’ve never heard of Ted Griffin before, when he’s clearly a talented guy. He’s definitely someone I’ll be keeping an eye out for in the future.