I’ve tried really, really hard to wean myself from reality television. I’m happy to report I’ve stayed away from American Idol, The Bachelor, and Average Joe, but I’ve been completely unable to stop watching Survivor, and I actually think that The Amazing Race is one of the best shows on television.

And now, I feel I’ve sunk to a new low, since I’m highly attached to The Apprentice. But in my defense, I don’t actually care about how any of the remaining contestants fare or who wins the so-called “prize.” I just can’t get enough of watching Donald Trump.

I used to think he was a total buffoon, and all I really knew about him was dish on his high-profile divorces and money troubles. Now that I’ve seen the show, I still think he’s kind of a goof, but he’s much smarter than I originally gave him credit for. I guess that you don’t get to be a multi-millionaire without being able to read people to some degree. Plus, I love the fact that he embraces his great wealth and goes straight for the maximum cheese. The shot of him walking in front of his airplane in the opening credits cracks me up every time, and his golden apartment must be seen to be believed — yet the man has no shame whatsoever. He’s so confident in his position and wealth, in fact, that he has no qualms whatsoever about telling people they suck, and to stuff it, and that he cares nothing for their petty issues or concerns. He’s all about the bottom line, bad comb-overs, and gilded coffee tables.

Now that’s my kind of guy.